Sunday, May 20, 2007
Me and my self
I have a split personality. Me and my persona. And she is not me She comes into the scene only when I try to express myself – in writing or in conversation. My thoughts are no longer mine ; she chooses the words carefully, She interrupts my thoughts often , sometimes she makes me think the way she does . A very thin line of confusion divides us. Sometimes, I think I have some clarity as far as our roles are concerned . Maybe its me who does all the thinking and she, the expressing. She is probably a better packager of words, emotions and gestures . She knows what to say, when and how. She does her job well at my workplace .At home, I try to shove her away and my communication suffers , more than often. I am uncomfortable having her about . I also get defensive with her around. I know when she dictates or rather suppresses my views. She says they sound better her way and it does not matter to her if I think like her. That is the dilemma , for its not me who is talking or writing my lines . The expression is wrong , according to my thoughts .But she is right , politically, I mean. I’m not sure I like her. I’m also not sure if I am like her. But she is here with me and has been editing this piece of writing all the way long. I hope I got my communication across
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