Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A day in his life

The swagger, the smile. He was born with it. The arrogance, the attitude. He loved to flaunt it.

A beam of the morning sun fell scross his face . With a violent jerk, he pulled the curtains apart. The soft rays filled his room . He glared back at the sun. He knew his gaze was more powerful. He cannot have a competitor in his lifetime. He was the rising sun

He knew he was going to win..he had known it always.Luck or skill, he didnt care . He was always told that he was a winner and he let everyone know that . The losers didnt just lose just money or fame, for he made sure that they lost their self respect, their strength . "Never allow them to rise . They should never be able to rise, his scheming mentor told him ." He didnt believe in mentors either. They were there till he needed them - just another gratification

He had it all and he knew he never had to work for it. He simply claimed it . Others just bore his burden .

He smiled. It was a smirk . He mocked destiny. It was in his control. He loved it all. The adulation, the adoration , the admiration. The applause still rang in his ears.

The sky changed colours. Blue,pink, purple,black. The colours of life. Time moved. On the other hand, time stood still . He walked into the room. The curtain was drawn .Silence strangled him. He sat on the edge of the bed and the tears rolled. Sobs pierced through the silence. Like a hungry animal, the scream erupted from his insides and ripped through his throat . A savage cry .He raved, roared and fell in agony..he lay drained, his head covered under the pillow, his face drenched by his tears and sweat. Silence . He knew it then. He had it all yet he had nothing

Saturday, November 17, 2007


She couldnt get over those pair of eyes. They haunted her . Cold, glassy, harsh. ..She averted her eyes as the gazes met . Sharp and steely they pierced through her almost cutting her insides.

It was a beautiful, innocent face ..Soft, fair and childlike. But a face that you wouldnt give a second glance , a face easy to forget amongst the millions that we face everyday..Yet those eyes made the face unforgettable ..

Something told her that the eyes did not belong to the face . The lips curved into a smile, but the eyes burnt like fire . A glare that almost burnt her face as she looked into them .

She closed her eyes and lay back ..thinking about the day, people who have made her day and those who didnt ..And only the eyes stared back..Was there a hurt she saw , an anger that spoke through them , a cruel act that was witnessed ? She would never know because she had never asked ..And the face became faceless except for those eyes..

Sleep beckoned .

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Dreams, desires and death

Pijush has tagged me again and this time its about dreams and desires that I want to fulfill before I die ... I have a lot of them,so hopefully death will wait awhile- a morbid thought indeed..but kal kya ho kisne jaana ?

1. Travel - I will start with the obvious and this will be the longest ..as a vagabond, all I want is the heavens above and a road below ..and while I want to travel and see as many places as possible, some are must . Amongst international destinations, I want to go to the Mediterranean including Greece, Italy and Egypt , UK (must see Keats' home and country houses that PG Wodehose describes in his books) and France .

In India, I want to visit Lakshwadeep, Ladakh, Himachal and Uttaranchal and Rajasthan , especially the palaces, forts and the hevelis . I want to trek to Gangotri and Gomukh and the Valley of Flowers .I also want to visit Rameshwaram, Thanjavur , Karwar and travel down the Buddhist trail . I want to see as many wild life sanctuaries as possible and see a tiger at least once in the wild. I want to learn names of all Indian birds and learn to identify them in the wild .

2. Roots - I want to get in touch with my roots and understand more about my ancestors. I want to go to as many villages as possible and see where my ancestors came from and go back in time.I will include my husband's family as well in this quest

3.Live in a small town/ village - I want to live away from the city , in a small Utopia that exists ..

4.Take my parents to The Himalayas . Especially my mother .

5.My dream company - My vision . I want to set it up and see it grow . I want to be an entrepreuner .

6.Write - I want to write a book - the story of the people I have met in my life ..I want to pursue my literary interests again..

7.My dream home - This is a bit materialistic..but I want to have a dream home tucked away in a corner..a small cottage built in ethnic style , with envirnoment friendly materials with huge trees and gardens and streams flowing around ..with birds and fish giving me company

8.Cook - I want to be a good cook !

9.My nature - I want to learn to be calm and patient and control my temper

10.My death - I want to live ...and live life to the fullest and I want my friends and family around me always

Tagged - Why I write what I write

Rusty has made my rusted grey cells think a bit ...so here I am asking myself why I do what I do...I am supposed to put my thoughts on writing ...so here goes .Ive tried to be as spontaneous as I can be .

Why Write ?

Its like breathing ..It makes me feel that I am alive . I write as its the most natural, spontaneous thing to do...It eases a clogged mind..Its instant gratification , like ice cream ..above all its an addiction . It helps me keep in touch with my core self and gives form to the various facets within me . It creates a picture that exists only in my mind ..Its like a waterfall , where words just burst forth creating a sequence , sometimes drawn by an invisbile force ..Its like what Keats said - That which is creative must create itself !

When to write ?

In the loo, while asleep ...no, I am not joking. Writing is just not putting words to paper or screen ..its also putting words to an abstract thoughts that keep raising their heads . I believe that there is no fixed time to write ...just keep your mind awake and let the words flow

What to write ?

Truth is stranger than fiction ! Sometimes its the truth thats hidden deep in the subconscious thats more interesting than stories.. Yet , I write about life ..the frailities and the foibles, the small ,insignificant experiences , the joy of discovery , people who matter and who didnt, memories that refuse to go away and places that are etched forever in our mind and opinions that you want others to hear .. I paint the picture thats in my mind at that point of time ..

How to write ?

Spontaneously . There is always a better word for every thought and expression , but sometimes the joy of writing goes away in just searching for the right word. Its like a dream man or woman of your life ..they dont exist ..I like words that have a feel about them, that create imagery ..that evoke feelings . Mere adjectives dont mean a thing ..Keep it simple and short .

Who to write for ?

For myself ideally . But sometimes you need readers and therefore for all those who appreciate my thoughts and my writing ...

Do I tag ?

I dont know...maybe there are readers out there who may want to pick this up..but I dont feel like forcing it down anyone