Friday, May 4, 2012

Lemonaid or lemonade ?

I have been travelling non stop since last August and while I was enjoying my journeys, my body , mind and soul craved for a detox. But I didnt expect it to come this way - it became a self imposed exile of sorts courtesy Murphy.

So what do you do when life gives you lemons ? Would you prefer tequilla or lemonade or lime tea ? Or would you use the lime as a medicine to prevent you from throwing up ?  However , the post is not so much about whining and cribbing about Murphy's ways , but more to do with the way I have reacted when life gave me some lemons .

I panicked a bit, but then I was preoccupied. I woke up thinking nd slept thinking about the problems. My conversations were limited, my thought process frozen and my social life nil. However I did not react in any other fashion. I was silent, passive, working mechanically, finishing every day mundane chores, taking each day as it comes and waiting for the phase to pass. I removed as much as possible negative influences and influencers from around me. If I did not find anything positive to hold on to, I tried to remain indifferent pretending I am stoic.

One by one, things straightened themselves and some issues fizzled out, while others hung around, in an inactive state .I learnt patience, discovered fear, rediscovered spirituality, found support and  learnt to disconnect more than to connect. However the energy inside me is dormant, probably a wee bit dead now as I am drained dealing with them..Although I turned inward, I did not introspect .I just went blank or empty. Today, when someone called me and asked me, " Whats up " I realized I had nothing really to say..The slowing down may have cleansed me a bit of my worries and tensions, but I suddenly feel the emptiness inside me. Its like the danger has passed or is passing, but I lie wasted...probably I need more time for myself to find my mojo back 


Mridula said...

You will get it back Lakshmi you will.

Lakshmi said...

Thanks Mridula :) The detox has actually helped me..